I was 15 , when I first saw the spark in him. I've known him since our freshmen days, but it was during that year when I felt something special for him. I would say he was definitely a hearthob. He stole the hearts of many girls but it took him 2 years to have mine.
He was the kindest guy I’ve ever met. With those expressive eyes and warm smile, he simply took my breath away. But my young and restless heart knew that he could never be mine. He was just someone I can admire from a distance.
Everytime I sign on my classmates' autographs, I marked his initials on the question, ‘who is your crush?’ I even used codenames just to keep my little secret. I wrote some forgotten poems at the back of my notebooks just to express the feelings I kept inside. But these never made me a good writer nor a poet. But a damsel with a story to tell.
My classmates in high school, even in college already heard same old story. I was consistent and never hid that precious feeling. ‘I shall return!’ I told myself when I decided to study here in Iloilo City . I’m preparing for my future. I need to obtain a degree, to prove that I am something. Naive girls have wild dreams, dreams that were far too high.
Alas! The most unexpected thing happened. After spending a year in college, a miracle occurred. A sort of "mutual understanding" relationship occured between the two of us. It's not too deep, but who cares? At least I had a chance to know that he liked me. I used the word "liked" for I think it's the most appropriate thing to described it. One thing is for sure, he doesn't love me. For if it's love, then he would pursue his feelings for me. He would not have those silly excuses such as: we were young, he's not ready for a relationship, he was mending his heart because his first love had hurt him, and we were far from each other. 'Time can tell' was the last phrase he said to me when we said our goodbyes (the semestral break was over).
I was hurt. My high hopes were turned upside down. I hated him. From then on, I decided to spend my semestral breaks in Iloilo. I dreaded the day when I'll gonna see him. For the wound never stopped hurting and my heart was ripping every time I think of him.
Still, I hoped for fairytale to come true. I lived with it. I prayed, wished, and hoped that it will be him, the only man I can spend the rest of my life with. But fate had its own way. I met somebody else. I don't know it was my true love at that time. And there I was nursing my scarred heart with somebody else.
Years had passed. Although I had been struggling against all odds for a new relationship I can say that I was glad I found love in the arms of my boyfriend (we've been together for almost 5 yrs now). When I thought that I was over with my first love, I received a shocking news from my bestfriend. He will be married to another girl (I don't know who she is) and worst, the girl was already pregnant.
Amazingly, I felt painless. I felt nothing. I didn't know how to react. Perhaps it was purely "shocked". Some concerned loved ones (my mom and my bestfriend) even called me for they were worried. They didn't know that I was really over him. That I have found true love.
Five years had been spent minding our own lives. Moving on. We haven't seen each other or talked each other. I guess I can't tell you what I'll feel if I'll be face to face with him.
God has blessed me with so many things. All the pains I've been through was never been in vain. I reminisced it with gladness. Indeed the saying is true, first love dies when true love comes. Only memories remain. I kept his handsome image in my heart and in mind but I was afraid that I can no longer paint his face once I close my eyes. All I have longed for was to bridge the gap ang rekindle the friendship we once shared.
I learned that everything has its right time. Learned the virtue of patience (in terms of loving). I learned that everything has its right time. Learned the virtue of waiting. We may not get all our heart’s desires but God knows what’s best for us; and surrounds us with enough love to understand and appreciate all His plans.
Indeed, time has told us that we'll be better off as friends. I may not have him but I have my true love. First love may not be the true love. God is the best matchmaker of all times. No one can beat Him. Do you agree?
Someday, someone will walk into your life and make you realize why it never worked out with anyone else.....
He was the kindest guy I’ve ever met. With those expressive eyes and warm smile, he simply took my breath away. But my young and restless heart knew that he could never be mine. He was just someone I can admire from a distance.
Everytime I sign on my classmates' autographs, I marked his initials on the question, ‘who is your crush?’ I even used codenames just to keep my little secret. I wrote some forgotten poems at the back of my notebooks just to express the feelings I kept inside. But these never made me a good writer nor a poet. But a damsel with a story to tell.
My classmates in high school, even in college already heard same old story. I was consistent and never hid that precious feeling. ‘I shall return!’ I told myself when I decided to study here in Iloilo City . I’m preparing for my future. I need to obtain a degree, to prove that I am something. Naive girls have wild dreams, dreams that were far too high.
Alas! The most unexpected thing happened. After spending a year in college, a miracle occurred. A sort of "mutual understanding" relationship occured between the two of us. It's not too deep, but who cares? At least I had a chance to know that he liked me. I used the word "liked" for I think it's the most appropriate thing to described it. One thing is for sure, he doesn't love me. For if it's love, then he would pursue his feelings for me. He would not have those silly excuses such as: we were young, he's not ready for a relationship, he was mending his heart because his first love had hurt him, and we were far from each other. 'Time can tell' was the last phrase he said to me when we said our goodbyes (the semestral break was over).
I was hurt. My high hopes were turned upside down. I hated him. From then on, I decided to spend my semestral breaks in Iloilo. I dreaded the day when I'll gonna see him. For the wound never stopped hurting and my heart was ripping every time I think of him.
Still, I hoped for fairytale to come true. I lived with it. I prayed, wished, and hoped that it will be him, the only man I can spend the rest of my life with. But fate had its own way. I met somebody else. I don't know it was my true love at that time. And there I was nursing my scarred heart with somebody else.
Years had passed. Although I had been struggling against all odds for a new relationship I can say that I was glad I found love in the arms of my boyfriend (we've been together for almost 5 yrs now). When I thought that I was over with my first love, I received a shocking news from my bestfriend. He will be married to another girl (I don't know who she is) and worst, the girl was already pregnant.
Amazingly, I felt painless. I felt nothing. I didn't know how to react. Perhaps it was purely "shocked". Some concerned loved ones (my mom and my bestfriend) even called me for they were worried. They didn't know that I was really over him. That I have found true love.
Five years had been spent minding our own lives. Moving on. We haven't seen each other or talked each other. I guess I can't tell you what I'll feel if I'll be face to face with him.
God has blessed me with so many things. All the pains I've been through was never been in vain. I reminisced it with gladness. Indeed the saying is true, first love dies when true love comes. Only memories remain. I kept his handsome image in my heart and in mind but I was afraid that I can no longer paint his face once I close my eyes. All I have longed for was to bridge the gap ang rekindle the friendship we once shared.
I learned that everything has its right time. Learned the virtue of patience (in terms of loving). I learned that everything has its right time. Learned the virtue of waiting. We may not get all our heart’s desires but God knows what’s best for us; and surrounds us with enough love to understand and appreciate all His plans.
Indeed, time has told us that we'll be better off as friends. I may not have him but I have my true love. First love may not be the true love. God is the best matchmaker of all times. No one can beat Him. Do you agree?
Someday, someone will walk into your life and make you realize why it never worked out with anyone else.....
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